Garbage Disposal Daredevil

Dear Journal,

When I was younger, I was obsessed with Chicken Soup for the Soul. Anyone else?? We used to take family trips to Barnes and Noble on weekend nights, especially in the summertime. Mom and Dad would park themselves in the center Starbucks with their favorite books and magazines, while I would escape to the teenage section and pour over endless Chicken Soup stories. I know, I know, I’m a nerd…

I remember several stories from those Barnes and Noble nights, but one flickering comment has always stood out to me in particular. This guy was describing a situation about his girlfriend, and shared how he just knew that had found a “real woman.” To him, this meant she wasn’t afraid to stick her hand down into the garbage disposal (turned off, of course!). He said that her willingness to reach down into the gunk after several dirty dishes and post-meal mess meant that she wasn’t afraid to take on the tougher things in life, the things that were not so pretty. This left him feeling inspired, cared for, and ready to take on the messiness of life together. Wow! And in that moment I knew exactly what kind of woman I wanted to be…a garbage disposal daredevil.

This theme has been resonating with me a lot recently—the willingness to roll up our sleeves and get a little messy whenever situations need some extra cleanup. Sure, these are the encounters that are not so pretty…they’re the tough conversations with friends when the two of us disagree on something foundational—or the moments I need to be a little bit more honest than I’d like to be; they’re the reality that scenes are shifting in the workplace and I might have to put in a little bit more effort than I’d really like to; they’re the moments when a friend is really struggling and I need to go out of my way to care more for her than I do for myself.

Brene Brown talks about “leaning into the discomfort,” and I couldn’t agree more! Sometimes, this is simply the worst. When all of our natural inclinations are screaming at us to run away, it often takes the greatest courage to get down and dirty with the messiest of situations. And the beautiful part is, the more we dig deep into the gunk, the more we get to reap the rewards.

I’ve been blessed with many of these courageous friends who don’t shy away from the tough stuff, and it’s been incredibly inspiring to me. I know I have a long way to go with this practice, but here’s hoping I can continue to learn the beautiful art of the garbage disposal daredevil!

Yours,
Julie

Perfectly Imperfect

Dear Journal,

Have you ever come face to face with perfection? I have. Last month. I met him in a museum in Italy. Florence, in fact. His name was David…

Ok, so I’m talking about Michelangelo’s world famous statue of the David in Italy’s Accademia Gallery. People come from all over the world to see this perfectly proportioned sculpture that has remained treasured for hundreds of years. The David is a masterpiece. Absolutely perfect.

The David stands at the end of a long hallway, high on a pedestal for all to see, and you can’t help but be immediately drawn to him as soon as you walk into the room. My friends and I found ourselves quickly rushing past the other pieces of art beside us so we could just get to the main attraction. And it did not take us long to realize why he’s such a big deal. A 14-foot, larger-than-life piece of perfection representing high ideals, the beauty we all desire, without one hair out of place. Very impressive, Mr. Michelangelo!

Well…awesome…I had seen the statue, taken my selfie, and mentally checked it off my life-bucket-list. My work here was done…that is until I wandered back to that rushed-through hallway… Want to know what I discovered, there? Rows and rows of unfinished sculptures. The ones my friends and I had ignored. I took a closer look and was awestruck! All of a sudden I realized that this hallway was absolutely necessary to lead up to that perfect sculpture of the David. Because contrary to every fiber of my perfectionist being…it takes time, patience, and gentleness with ourselves to become those perfect masterpieces.

I’ve never been a big fan of the whole patience-thing. I’ll have an idea, and want it to happen RIGHT NOW, so I found these unfinished pieces of art really challenging and inspiring to me. They helped me to remember that perfection is a process. It took Michelangelo years of constantly chipping away at the gleaming white marble to create such a breathtaking masterpiece. It didn’t happen overnight! Nor did he just have a desire to create such beauty, and have it appear. He worked at it. Constantly.

I have especially felt this impatience with Girl Talk over the years. Can’t it just be everything I imagine already?? Even in each successful moment we experience, I often find myself rushing through that to get to the next moment, without taking the time to fully embrace or appreciate all its beauty. And now here I was, in a hallway of alllll these unfinished, in-the-works, soon-to-be wonderful masterpieces. And isn’t this what Girl Talk is like? All its beauty and potential already exists…I just need to keep chipping away to find what’s inside. My challenge is just to be patient with myself and the process in the meantime.

If I want myself, my life, or my organization to be anyway near perfect like the David, I need to be comfortable being perfectly imperfect. Because the reality is that none of us will ever be truly perfect (although we can try). I have to remember that life is about the striving, the struggling, and the sculpting.

I’m so glad I found my way back to that unfinished hallway, and I hope I can remember it each day I feel myself anxious or worried about the imperfect state of my life. Because only when I make that hallway my process, will I be able to eventually reach any level of David-perfection.

Patiently yours,

Julie

Thirty and Flirty and Striding

Dear Journal,

Do you ever doubt yourself on some of the key aspects of your life? There have been so many moments where I've doubted the whole point of Girl Talk. I have definitely encountered many roadblocks along the way, and it's in these moments where I feel like maybe it's just not worth it. Maybe I had the wrong idea. Maybe girls don't really need this message.

And then I get a phone call from my best friend in tears. Then I'm comforting a girl whose insecurities are completely strangling her. And then I have a student approaching me for help for her roommate who was sexually assaulted.   

Then I remember why I girl talk. 

Because these women need an outlet. They need to know they are loved. They need real support. And that's what we're doing with Girl Talk Strides. Supporting women every step of the way! 

Regardless of her situation, be it struggles with body image, heartbreak, loneliness, or self-worth, every woman deserves support through sisterhood. I remember my residents junior year sharing how they felt all alone. They would say things like "Oh, if only I had hair like HER, then he would notice me...Julie, I feel so ugly, I can't even look in the mirror in the morning...I'm just not sure if people got to know the real me that they would even like me..." Kind of makes me think of 13-year-old Jennifer Gardner in 13 Going on 30..."I just want to be THIRTY and FLIRTY and THRIVING!!!" That whole idea of the grass is always greener. It's so easy for us to compare our bodies and our personalities and our status to other women who we think have it all together. But guess what? We are loveable exactly as we are. Never too much, and always enough.

I stride for every woman who has ever doubted herself. For the friends who continually help me quell my own insecurities. For every girl to know her inherent worth and value.   

So next week, with the launch of our Girl Talk Strides walk-a-thon (wooo!!!) I want to be thirty, flirty...and STRIDING! (Ok, the thirty and flirty part aren't really applicable...well maybe we'll leave just one of them in there...just for fun!)

Yours,

Julie

It's a Typical Tuesday Night

Dear Journal,

Here we are again. Tuesday night, something past midnight, and I'm working on our upcoming focus group. And fundraiser. And Review Night. (Doesn't Taylor always sing about late Tuesday nights? "I'm in my room, it's a typical Tuesday night...2am riding in your truck..And I remember that fight, 2:30am..." I hear ya, girl). So many late nights in my startup life. 

It's a cool thing being an entrepreneur. But also a little bit unpredictable. And always involving late Tuesday nights (ok not just Tuesdays, pretty much every night is a late night-especially when I'm working another full time job (that I love)). (Was that the right use of parenthesis? (Nicole and I always joke that our conversations take on so many wonderful twists and turns that we need to use parentheses within parentheses in everyday dialogue with each other (and we do) (and we love it))). (Sorry for the major digression). I love living this startup life! 

It's difficult sometimes to keep Girl Talk steered in the right direction, working with so many different people, schedules, and obligations, but I'm so incredibly grateful for my team! Flexibility (and snacks) are key! Last Saturday, Shannon came over to plan this coming year of the Girl Talk Institute, and we covered the basement floor with brainstorming notes, Expo markers, and every cookie/chip/fruit imaginable from Giant. It was a fabulous day of idea-generation. The other night, Amy and I were on the phone at 11pm tweaking the final details of the awesome video she's put together for Girl Talk Strides. (I'm so excited to launch it!) Regina and I are in constant workshop mode as we get to hang with her beautiful baby and edit the website at the same time, and Marykate and I just can't contain our excitement over our latest and greatest idea (whatever that may be at the time). Don't even get me started on the interns...they're amazing! I seriously love working with each of them individually, and as a group. I'm grateful for their ability to roll with the punches whenever someone's phone dies and we have to rely on carrier pigeons to communicate for a week, or one of us is running late from another meeting (I promise it's not me...ok maybe it's me). It's exciting to witness so many ideas come to life in such a short amount of time, and to work with such incredible talent. 

Living the startup life is exciting. It's been a great adventure learning how to balance meetings with lots of different people/fundraisers/videos/social media/conversations with mentors/late nights/unexpected "opportunities for growth"/back-to-back events all with a full-time job, quality friendships, and passions outside of work. I'll keep ya posted on the progress!

Yours,
Julie

What do I do with my idea?

Dear Journal,

There's a children's book I love called, What Do You Do with an Idea? by Kobi Yamada. It tells the story of a little boy who one day comes up with an idea. He likes his idea, but then worries what other people will think of it. At first, he tries to leave it alone, but the idea follows him; and then he starts to really enjoy being with it, as it makes him happier and more alive. 

"I don't know how to describe it, but it went from being here to being everywhere. It wasn't just a part of me anymore...it was now a part of everything..."

As soon as I read this, I finally felt like someone understood my experience with Girl Talk. I didn't realize that this little idea I dreamed as a junior in college would completely change my life. 

Girl Talk began as a simple idea: sharing personal stories to let girls know that they were not alone. It then grew from a room of forty college girls eating brownies and talking about guys, to a campus-wide program inspiring self-confidence among women, to a non-profit organization. (Super cool stuff!!) We currently serve college women through The Girl Talk Institute, and are beginning to spread the Girl Talk message of sisterhood and self-worth to high school students. As I read in What Do You Do with an Idea? Girl Talk seemed to go from being "here" to being "everywhere." 

My little idea has grown in many ways over the past few years. I've met incredible mentors and cheerleaders along my journey, have heard countless inspirational stories from women in high school, college, and beyond, and have been so fortunate to assemble an amazing team around me. I'm so grateful for the gift of my Girl Talk idea.

"I couldn't imagine my life without it."

Yours,
Julie